TEACHING KIDS
By
Troy Andrew Smith
When it comes to teaching Kids, and I’m capitalizing Kids because they are the important subject of this article, I am somewhat of an expert. Although I don’t have a college degree in child psychology, I do have a lot of personal experience with Kids. After all I was one myself when I was growing up and there are a few people out there that might make a case that I never grew out of being one. Don’t believe everything my Kids might try and tell you when they say, I have slipped into my second childhood without leaving my first… But, enough of that kind of pointless speculation, we need to get back to the facts here.
I have taught a lot of Kids how to do many, many things. Most of them are good things. Any bad habits I may have been blamed for by other parents (mostly ex-wives) were consciously kept to a minimum. Quite frankly if you don’t give a Kid some direction in their bad habits they might grow up without any… I knew a guy like that once and didn’t like him much.
The truth is, all joking aside, I’ve taught Kids to fish, rope, hunt, both with guns and with archery, ride horses, play guitar, have table manners and respect, both for themselves and others, how to use tools, carpentry skills, how to work to make their own way in this world and probably a lot of stuff I wasn’t even aware of at the time.
Now, you notice, I teach Kids not children. I believe School Teachers teach children and they have to, for one thing it’s their job. They have an environment that is difficult at best, because of the number of children they have in a room and the fact most of the children don’t really want to be there, makes it tough. Add to that, all of the electronic gadgets available today to distract Kids along with TV shows and commercials that instruct Kids in techniques of rude behavior, throw in the fact that it’s against the law not only for the Teachers but also Parents to do anything about it now days, without going to jail, and you have your basic American classroom. Before some liberal starts accusing me of things I haven’t said, let me say, I do not in any way shape or form condone any type of child abuse. It’s the worst thing a person can do as far as I’m concerned and it needs to be stopped. The problem is, in trying to stop the abuse we have created a Pandora’s box of laws that very much have been misused by the courts, the school system and the Kids themselves. I feel for all parties involved but mostly I feel sorry for the kids because they are the ones missing out on an education; but that is a subject for a whole other article.
The type of teaching I’m talking about is not theory, it’s hands on, get dirty, try not to get hurt, real life skills that can give a Kid some pride in themselves. It is stuff that they can be applauded for, even cheered for, instead of being constantly told to ‘Stop doing that!’ I used to know a guy who claimed he was nine years old before he found out his name wasn’t Damnit Danny; I believe him. I’m hoping to maybe help change that attitude for some Kids with this article and others to come.
For now, I’m going to use fishing as my metaphoric example of teaching Kids but keep in mind the same techniques used to teach a Kid to fish, can be applied to almost anything.
The first thing to remember when you’re teaching a Kid how to do something, anything, is keep it fun. This doesn’t mean it has to be a laugh a minute, rib splitter all of the time, because it might be something the Kid doesn’t want to learn. Working skills often fall in this category. When I was forced into slave labor under the tutelage of my
These are the dreams & memories we keep for all the rest of their lives
Dad, I was usually less than happy about it at the beginning. But after we got going and I could see the importance and often times the beauty in what we were doing, it did become, if not fun at least interesting. It was also accompanied with a strong sense of pride and achievement. The Kids today may also be so wrapped up in their video games, TV, or chatting with their friends, that they don’t want to have to put that stuff away and come outside to actually do something; at first. So, somehow you have to make it fun for them. If you can’t make it fun maybe try to make it interesting. Here are a few things to remember.
If possible start building up the Kid’s interest before the main event. Say, you are going to a lake to go Bass fishing and you want the Kid to go with you. This is maybe the Kid’s first time to fish and for the sake of this article we are going to assume it is. Don’t wait until the ‘day of’ to try and spark an interest in the Kid. Plan ahead; think of it from the view point of the Kid, what can keep it interesting, if not actually a laugh a minute fun? Think about, what is the Kid watching you do?
In the case of going fishing, you may be doing things like cleaning your boat or checking your tackle, putting new line on your reels or going to a tackle shop to replace missing lures or to buy new ones you want to try. Get the kid involved. Let them help with cleaning out or washing the boat. Take them with you as much as you can when you go to Bass Pro Shop or other tackle stores. Don’t try to insulate them from the work aspect of having fun. Many times there is a lot of work involved with having fun. I work nearly everyday at having fun and I don’t intend on stopping. Let the Kid experience the gratification of doing the work in order to reap the rewards. Believe me I know that it is often, if not always, easier to do it yourself, but then, how do you expect the Kid to learn?
Another thing to keep in mind is the educational part of the trip. We’re not talking about the things they will see on the way, although travel is very educational. We are talking about the Kid having a chance to know, how to do and what they are doing, before they are actually doing it. Make sense? Let’s break it down for a minute and once again use fishing as our example.
When it comes to fishing, the biggest problem that I have witnessed is that the adults don’t give the Kids credit for being able to do things. They try to take away all of the problems they think the Kid might have by making the Kid do very simple things. The first thing they do fishing, is try to make the kid fish with bait and a bobber. The adult casts the line for the Kid and ‘clicks’ in the reel and tells the Kid, “Now, just let it set there and when the cork goes under reel it in.” There are two fundamental problems with this statement. One, when have you seen a Kid just sit there? Two is, they are not sure how to reel a fish in. So, they feel the need to practice reeling before they have to do it with a fish on the end of the line. There is a third element here that comes into play after the first two or three casts; they now have discovered they have your attention each time you make a new cast for them. For some Kids this may be one of the few times they get to have your attention even if this is not the most desirable attention to get; it’s better than none.
Now, the bait fishing technique of bobber and hook and sit real still, works well only if you are lucky enough right off, to drop the bait in a school of Perch or Crappie or maybe even Sand Bass or Trout, that are really hungry and where the action is fast and furious. But most days you can’t count on the Kid getting a bite in the first three minutes of their fishing career in order to keep their interest up. What happens is, before the adult can even get the chance to make a few casts with their own rig, the Kid’s line is reeled up and the bobber is stuck tight to the first eye on their fishing rod. The adult then says something like, “What did you do that for? You’ve got to leave it out in the water to catch anything.” So, using great patience they make another cast for the Kid and the cycle starts all over. Soon, the adult is frustrated, the Kid is frustrated, now what started out to be a fun outing, falls in the category of, “No! We’re not going home yet! We came out here so you could have a good time and by God you are going to have a good time, I don’t care what I have to do to make you!”
Sound familiar? Remember we’re only using fishing as an example. This behavior can apply to almost anything.
Back to the fishing. Why won’t the Kid leave their line in the water like they are told? Well, what are they watching you do? Most likely they see the adult pick up a rod that’s got a spinner bait, a top water plug, a crank bait or some other artificial lure on it and go to chunking and winding. To the Kid that looks like a lot more fun than sitting still watching their bobber go up and down with the ripples. So, why doesn’t the adult tie on a lure for the Kid and let them chunk and wind? Because, the Kid doesn’t know how to cast. Why not? Because, the adult didn’t take them outside in the driveway, tie on a dummy casting plug and spend time with the Kid teaching them to do their own casting. The sad part of this is, they missed not only having a good time fishing but they missed all the fun they could’ve had out in the driveway too.
By the time my Son was three years old he had caught a Largemouth Bass that was over two and a half pounds doing his own casting. By the time he was five he was pretty much self sufficient at changing his own lures if I put a swivel on his line. By the time he was seven he was tying his own knots and could pretty much do about everything that needed done in order to go fishing. We had spent a lot of really good times out in the yard or driveway practicing casting. I also learned a lot about what was going on in his world why were out there.
One word of caution when planning a fishing trip; don’t build up the height of expectation to the point where only disappointment can follow. Don’t promise the Kid they will catch a whale or even a fish. Instead talk about how the two of you (or how ever many are going) are going to get to have some fun together. Take some food that is special for fishing (my Dad always brought sardines and longhorn cheese. I don’t recommend them for most young Kids.), bring something you don’t get to eat very often around the house. Make the expectation be about doing things together; not about the excitement of catching a big fish. Then if the Kid or the adult either one catches a fish; IT’S BEEN A GREAT DAY!
One of the things about teaching a Kid to cast, out in the drive, is all of the things you can talk about while it’s just the two of you out there doing ‘stuff.’ If you are the parent, prepare yourself for learning things you may not have wanted to know, but keep it cool and talk to the Kid just like you would another adult. In other words, don’t talk down to them or dismiss what they have to say, answer them in a normal tone of voice and remember; what they are saying is important to them, even if it doesn’t seem so to you.
For now, the last thing I want to say is don’t push too hard. Just because you’re sure there is a big fish under the next log or on the next point, if the Kid has lost interest, you need to do one of two things. Either stop fishing and go home or have something else for the Kid to do. If you’re in a boat, go for a boat ride. Maybe let them drive it, depending upon their age and physical abilities, break up the monotony a little. My youngest Daughter, Deb, always went fishing with her Dad; that would be me. Her main goal was not to catch fish, some days she never touched a pole, other days she caught lots of fish, but she always wanted to go fishing even if she never fished.
My Son and oldest Granddaughter, on the other hand, would and will, fish until the world turns level, but most Kids don’t have that degree of commitment when they first start something, whether it’s fishing or not. So, try to keep a backup plan in place so as not to burn a Kid out of an activity before they have a chance to learn it and to begin to like it.
One thing Deb and I always took with us was a big bag of coloring books and things to draw on and with. I would like to say she grew up as an artist, but that was my oldest Daughter, who because of a divorce never got to go fishing with me. But, back to the point of the story, Deb never became an artist but she always had something with her she liked to do. That way I could fish while she did whatever she wanted to. She could fish or not fish; we still had a lot of fun together.
I also always had a blanket or something where Deb could take a nap or just lay around if she wanted to. The point I’m trying to make here is, it wasn’t the catching fish that was important. It was the time I got to spend with my Kids and hear all of the stuff they had to say. Once in awhile I actually caught a big fish or better still they did and that just was icing on the cake.
In today’s world, I discourage adults from allowing Kids to bring video games and other electronic apps along, mainly because they are one of the things we are trying to get the Kid away from for a little while. We want to show them the wonders of nature and let them see there are other things to do and enjoy in this world.
I’m now nearing fifty eight years old. My baby girl is thirty and has kids of her own. I live 1500 miles away from all of my kids and yet I always feel very close to them. In fact Deb called me this morning just to talk to her Dad. It’s Thursday and I imagine I’ll be hearing from Dustin in the next day or two. It’s that kind of closeness that a person can build with their Kids if they just take the time to teach them a thing or two. It’s what this world needs a lot more of. Hope to see you and a Kid out on the lake soon. Later
